It’s 2016, please hold my hair while I vomit

That sentence never happened early hours this morning, because I tilted my head and vomited on a towel that was on the bed… Don’t ask me what a towel was doing on the bed… At least I could just throw it in the wash machine and forget… But there goes hanging out the already cleaned clothes that were sitting in the wash machine…

I blame weed for this. I didn’t have any, so I dunk teh liquors instead.

I don’t drink, if I do it’s only a glass or a bottle of cider or something here and there. I’m pretty sure that I’ve mentioned before that I’m very short, my body was not built for drinking, so I don’t drink. I did other drugs instead because I don’t drink. Shit, that’s a repeated sentence coz I’m watching a markiplier remix on YouTube that just caught my attention. I’m a bit scattered today, surprisingly not that shitty though. I did drugs because I could handle them. And I do say drugs in a broad term because I did a lot of different kinds. I was a permanent everyday stoner for years so that goes without saying. But acid I handled better then anyone I ever knew. When they were all crying in the corner fighting invisible insects, I was giggling and following invisible rainbows. Give me alcohol and I’ll be puking after a 6 pack. Weak, totally weak dude [insert cartmans voice at this sentence].

I couldn’t get weed anywhere, not a soul wanted to help me out with it either. It was depressing. I haven’t had a full time habit for this whole year, and that hasn’t been entirely my choice. I’ve tried to relapse at least 5 times this year, and because I’ve fucked off all my old contacts, I haven’t been able to get any. It’s been lame, and obviously new years eve was no exception. I should view it as good but it’s shit, the anxiety of craving something so much physically hurts my chest and makes me angry and useless. I was feeling the anxiety all afternoon so I decided fuck it, it’s new years eve, and I want to get fucked up. What’s the most legal way to get fucked up? Alcohol mang, fuuuuck this is gonna be shit.

I don’t drink, and I’ve never done shots before, not fucking ever. I hated alcohol for a long while because everyone I knew that drank was an arsehole, straight up cock wanks. My oldest brother brews beer though, so I’ve always had a respect for craft beer and the people that drink it. Because there’s a vast difference between drinking to get drunk and drinking because you want to try all the nice tasting things, and staying sober enough to appreciate said tastes. I still got pissed around my brother because his beer was always super strong and his tolerance was obviously a lot higher then mine. But I liked drinking with him, not the next day, but the time that I was with him was cool. Considering I live in a country that has no sense of class or care for decent alcohol, the craft beer scene is doublely cool.

Me and mister walked around the bottle shop for at least half an hour contemplating what to get. I wanted something that was going to make me feel the least shit, so we decided on a big straight bottle because pre mix is out of the question if you don’t want to feel too shitty. This is what we settled on:


Top shelf, Mezcal. It’s sort of tequila. Just to prove it’s authenticity it came complete with this.


Fucking worm yo. According to the label on the bottle this worm is meant to open doors. Obviously not literally but the label said they were the key. The key to what? Well eat the worm and find out!

No doors were opened, no deep realisations realised, no grand hallucinations, no understanding of the meaning of life. Nothing, but the thought that you just ate a bug because a bottle of grog told you to. Yay…

I bet the Mexicans just put it in there for the lolz. To see how many people would eat a bug just because you told them it was magic because it sucked up a lot of the alcohol from the bottle.

We bought so much soft drink and mineral water to mix with the shit but instead we did it all in shot form (my shot glass was pong) with a lick of salt and a slice of lime.

My night consisted of drinking shots, playing Mario on the super nintendo, braving the heat to get Chinese food and ending it with puking on a towel on my bed. I am the ultimate shut in!

So I’m sitting here with a giant hole in my funds, salt all over my loungroom floor and no clean towels to shower with. What a great start to the year… Dam you marijuana cravings!


8 thoughts on “It’s 2016, please hold my hair while I vomit

  1. Hahahahaha!!! Sorry for laughing, but that was pretty funny! “So I’m sitting here with a giant hole in my funds, salt all over my loungroom floor and no clean towels to shower with. What a great start to the year… Dam you marijuana cravings!” – I bet you wish you lived in the Netherlands with Beeps!

    Acid… Flashbacks. Eeeeekkk! I liked it at first, but then I had a HORRIBLE trip – Metallica was playing and it was fucking EVIL. The walls were closing in on me. It was terrifying. Then the dealer gave me something to bring me down (I have NO idea what it was, but anyway), and then I was so bummed because all I ended up with was tunnel vision while everyone else was wired off their faces… *sigh* Those were the days ey…

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh I don’t just wish, I aspire to be living either in the Netherlands or Amsterdam!
      Every time I go to my parents place and go to the toilet I trip out on the bathroom floor. I’ve never had a bad trip, I just never have, I’ve always felt like that was where I was meant to be over real life. Listening to any metal on acid is a bad idea, that’s what electronic music was made for 😉
      Those were the days that’s for sure, I miss them but it’s better that I don’t do it anymore. Glad I could give you some lolz

      Liked by 3 people

    1. Yeah benzos pretty well double the effects of alcohol. I woke up after a couple of hours passed out because I could barely sleep without the seroquel, then passed the fuck back out with the room swimming again. Least I slept.
      In Australia they’ve put Xanax in the high psych group so I’ve only ever mixed Valium with stuff. Xanax is like a street drug now, the only people that are prescribed it are in wards and everyone that doesn’t need it wants it.

      Liked by 2 people

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