I Is Having a bad word Choice Issue

I’ve been reading a lot of my posts back, I’ve noticed that that the only two that aren’t covered in spelling errors and misplaced words was like, my first two. One even has no likes and comments (why people no like Bruce Campbell? That misplaced word was intentional by the way).

The reason I’m mentioning this is because now I’m just looking downright not even fluent in my own language. The main reason is because I use my phone, because the pc is in the lounge room using the TV as the monitor. I don’t watch TV, that’s why the pc is there because I watch the internet basically. And even though I’m not ashamed of what I write and I don’t hide anything from Mister, it’s hard to concentrate on what I’m writing about with a person sitting next to me on the couch looking on, he also points out all my grammatical errors which also gets annoying.

I tend to mash my screen buttons fairly fast too, so if I misspell a word it auto corrects to something else, even if I’m writing the word ‘is’ and I accidentally type a U or something it then changes it to a different short letter word. There’s really not much point in explaining this, I think everyone already knows what auto correct or devices are like. That’s what proof reading is for right? Right…

In my About I profess to not being a writer, blogger or even decent at English full stop. That’s not entirely true, I’ve always been good at English, it was my best subject growing up. In year 7 I was reading and writing at a year 11 level so I can’t technically say I’m bad at English. But I’m on a website of writers and bloggers, truly creative, intelligent people so I don’t see myself as a very good writer so therefore if I say I’m not that good then maybe it’s an excuse for the weird subjects I choose to write about? You know how most women have the self esteem issue (don’t get offended if you’re not like that) like oh, I felt ok looking just before but then I walked outside/to an event and there are WAY better looking women here. Well I’m kind of the same with my brain, as in, oh yeah I feel like I’m fairly intelligent, fairly good at articulation, get on here, oh I don’t know what this word means, oh they’re writing about world events I care about but I didn’t know any of this or I like poetry but I don’t get the underlying message of this abstract poetry! Time to put the dunce hat on and sit in the corner…

Another reason of my lack of proof reading is the fact that after I’ve written it the first time, I no longer care! It’s finished, my attention is now elsewhere. I tend to scan over it once and if there’s an auto correct that’s so far off the mark, I’ll correct it, but the other little words I’m more like, meh, these are smart people they’ll understand what I mean. I tend to overwrite because I’ll have all these thoughts at once then right towards the end of the post my brain starts puttering, like it was really whirling but now it’s starting to lose momentum, then half way through a sentence it dies. Then I feel the last half of my paragraphs are awkward because at this stage I’ve completely forgotten what my line of thought was even about.

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I haven’t been diagnosed with this but I do feel like this a lot of the time. The fact I’ve been writing so regularly surprises me as much as it does anyone.

I met a lady with ADHD in the park when I was about 17, it was dry season and I was with my ex and best friend, pacing and yelling a lot because we couldn’t score any bud. This couple were walking their dog when all of a sudden this woman about my height started walking towards me. She was early 30s and she asked me straight out, are you having an issue getting on? Because I’m new here and I don’t have any contacts so if money is the issue I can help you out.

Her name was Marti but we called her Pants (as in smarty pants) she was a fucking tripper, a creative genius with a huge IQ. We connected straight away because we both talked fast, I mean the conversation subject changed like every 30 seconds but I could keep up. She was a brilliant artist, her outdoor patio was covered in pebbled stuff, mashed up cd collages with Fairy lights in them, just crazy cool stuff. She had wall to walls of books with just about every subject you could think of. She was self teaching herself how to be a botanist, this was like the third open uni course she just decided to do. She taught me how to smoke straight green cones from a bucket, she was the ultimate hippie stoner, completely one with nature. I’d never even smoked straight green before then. (if you didn’t know Australia is one of those countries that mixes their bud with tobacco to make it easier to burn)

She just kind of up and went one day, then sometimes randomly will call me out of the blue. She hated time schedules and routine, it was the only thing that freaked her out. For that reason you just couldn’t organise anything with her, she was a free spirit that you couldn’t tie down to anything. I have severe abandonment issues, and I don’t cope well with people leaving my life. She was different though, I didn’t feel sad when she left, just understanding. Because I swear awesome people like that are so rare it’s almost as if they don’t belong in this dimension.

I’ll leave you with a deep Pants thought (disclaimer, bunnings is a massive hardware chain store that sells everything from tools, gardening, paint pretty well anything DIY):

‘I love Bunnings, I love all the little birds and animals in this area. Do you reckon when we garden we are destroying the animals equivalent of Bunnings? I like gardening but I don’t want to destroy their bunnings just because I want my garden looking neat, that’s just vain and selfish. I’m not going to garden anymore, shop away little birds!’

I miss you Pants…Β 

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7 thoughts on “I Is Having a bad word Choice Issue

  1. Cool post. I love free spirit hippie’s but hate people up-n-leaving me behind in this conventional drudgery I call life. But yeah cool post there’s a lot of things you said I wanted to quote but as I read on I simply nodded at the text and took in the rapid delivery of your prose which (as an A.D.D’er) has a satiating and meditative effective.
    Thanks for sharing, it’s caring!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Heh, heh. Living with a full on ADHD person for as long as I have, I can relate. My bro is very creative and it’s his enthusiasm that’s kept me going all these years. And he doesn’t like to settle too long in any one area. It’s not always easy on me, but I feel lucky he offered to take me with him.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can’t imagine living with her, though she offered it once then I lost contact for a couple of weeks then she had completely forgotten she even asked! It was fun though, I got bored of talking about the same topic, I don’t really relate to normal adults like that but our conversations were always fast and fun. I bet it would be fun but frustrating simultaneously for you

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It isn’t always easy, but then, what is? And my dad said it best: I’m better when I’m with my brother. Happier. Surer of myself. Before he died, dad asked my bro to take care of me. That’s been hard; sometimes I feel like it’s my bro’s promise that’s kept him by my side. And maybe sometimes that’s been the case. I feel a lot like I use him as a crutch. I let his mania pull me up and along. Keeping up with him…that’s easy. We’ve developed almost a short hand way of talking; little in jokes that say a lot in 5 or 6 words. And, when I get wound up, he’s the only one who can keep up with me.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. He sounds awesome πŸ™‚ I bet he wouldn’t just be keeping you around because of a promise. He just sounds like he cares, maybe you keep him grounded in the same way he uplifts you? Either way it’s a good thing πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

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