The Struggle Is Real

I woke up sick this morning, nose running like a tap, sneezing every 3 seconds, brain in a fog inside my head. I’ve also run out of tobacco. Today will be the first official day that I will be vaping with no cigarettes throughout the day. I don’t know whether getting sick is a blessing or a curse. Because it’s pretty shitty being sick, but at the same time when I’m sick I don’t usually smoke, so this could be a perfect moment for making the switch. I can’t lie and say I’m completely fine with the fact there’s no tobacco, but I’m a lot better then I was last time, so that’s something right? Now I just have to empty all the ashtray so I’m not at risk of rolling bumpers like a poor arse junkie…

Those are times I’m not proud of. I’m not proud of being a theif either. I was a little scumbag that’s for sure. Stealing stuff for survival, justifying it all because at least we weren’t trashing things up. Yeah. I was just a shit person. Plain and simple. Sometimes there are just some things you can’t justify or hide behind. You just have to face up to the fact that you’re being a bad person. I’ve spent years trying to do things to repent. Actually, that’s the wrong thing to say. I do things now because it’s the right thing to do, and I want to be a good person. Because junkie theif Kim was no ones friend…

FB_IMG_1427112723589

This was me, and it’s time to let her go…

Just like it’s time to start letting these bad habits go. Because it’s not the person I want to be. I see myself as a snake. Everyone has preconceived ideas on what they’re like, they’re misunderstood and judged harshly simply for being what they are. No matter how small the snake it is still a powerful and dangerous predator. It also has the ability, not just the ability, it must shed it’s skin. This is what I’m going to do this year, completely shed my skin so to speak. It’s been slowly peeling off bit by bit for the past 5 years and this year will be the year I’m free of the old me. Then I will keep that skin till however long it takes to reach my next milestone, my next great epiphany.

I’ve been juggling my one android charger between my phone and my vaporiser, which has about the same battery life as an iPhone. Lol, I crack myself up sometimes. I did have to say that to mum on Sunday though, hey can I borrow your phone charger I just need to charge my cigarette. Lol, I’m feeling so shitty…

I don’t even know what the plan is today, it’s weird to be blogging about what’s going on right now in my life. I’m used to doing topics so it feels like I’m just dribbling shit at the moment, ah well, can’t win them all.

I post pictures of myself randomly sometimes because sometimes I feel narcissistic enough to do so. This isn’t an anonymous blog. I want you to feel like you have a basic understanding of the person behind the words. Im also not on social media aside from this so I have nothing to link.

But I will be back on all the platforms soon, when I start my business because I still feel the need and the drive to make that happen and I’ll also be making another blog which will probably not hold any interest to any of my subscribers on here but that’s ok. Just may mean the posts on this page may start being a bit fewer depending on the business scale.

Who knows? My head hurts…

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “The Struggle Is Real

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s