Sometimes I think I’m a witch, or the antichrist, like my rage transforms itself into a cloud of pain that follows the person that hurt me around for weeks.
This thought is only reflection about all the events that took place after major things. I don’t know whether I can say I believe in karma, I believe if you put out positivity then you receive it, that’s the closest thing I can think of describing karma. I don’t believe karma is this strange entity that just goes for the people that hurt you and messes them up. If that were the case why call it karma? Because karma means what goes around comes around. There is no line in that definition that specifically points out bad deeds, the description isn’t ‘what goes around comes around, if you screw with people watch out’. It’s just inclusive to all things that go around. If karma was about just hoping the other person gets what they deserve, don’t call it karma, call it revenge because that makes more sense to what people think karma is.
When you look at it, there’s no entity or force making sure to uphold justice when someone is hurt and can’t fight back. It’s all just coincidence. Because to say karma only gets the bad ones pretty well just implies that you’re also a bad one because there isn’t a human on this planet who has not experienced some form of injustice or pain, so that must’ve happened from your own bad karma. This is why the very concept of karma is flawed and in that case, everything that happens is coincidence, because it’s pretty naive to think that just because a person hurt you it must mean they’re an evil person. How many times have you accidentally hurt someone in the same way without realising this? (Obviously excluding abuse of any kind and only referencing small common misunderstandings that drive friendships/relationships apart)
Even though I’m 3 paragraphs in and all I’ve said is that there’s no way that karma can exist the way we envision it does, doesn’t change the fact that every time I’ve chosen to walk away from someone, shit instantly goes down for them. I don’t even know why but I’ll give you an example;
Pretty sure I told you all that I lived with an incredibly aggressive lesbian (I’m not homophobic she was just a shit person) who owned 2 cats, 2 ducks (that were the size of geese, so they were probably geese and not even ducks at all but she insisted that they were ducks), a giant rabbit;
This isn’t even an exaggerated picture, this rabbit was identical in colour and size, even the cat in this photo looks like one of hers.
And last animal, a goat, an outside AND inside goat. Please, please, just watch this clip, most probably you have seen this, but humour me and watch it again, I’ll put it here for you;
Again, this is not an exaggeration, goats are the worst things ever. You think a baby or toddler can throw their voice around, goats scream like toddlers getting murdered, whilst being amplified by a microphone, they are pretty fucking loud. No wonder they only buy them down here to go tie to a tree away from the property so it’ll eat the grass. Smart, lawn mown and you don’t have to listen to the annoying thing. Plus they’re creepy, look at their eyes.
Keep in mind all of these animals were shoved into a house in the middle of suburbia, not fucking farmland, with a backyard that probably wouldn’t even fit a pool into. It was straight out cruelty to have animals like that on a property so small.
My bedroom was right next to the backyard, so my window view was the backyard, and every time my house mate went and saw her gf or whatever girl she was fucking at the time (which was a LOT) she would leave the goat outside. And it would stand right next to my window (which was also where my bed was unfortunately situated) and scream at the top of its lungs like it was getting stabbed and disembowelled. I think if that was getting stabbed and disembowelled outside, then I don’t think I’d be able to tell the difference between screams.
As you can imagine with all the animals going in and out of the house, her never really being there and me working full time and rebelling against doing all the chores myself, the house was disgusting. Beyond disgusting. The whole house was full of shit, literally, mainly from the rabbit and goat who leave little bullet poops everywhere. The dishes were never done, I was constantly having to buy new cords like for my tv and phone chargers because the rabbit would chew through them with ease because it was so huge. Oh, and the goat liked to get up on my bed and piss and shit on it. Then when I’d do the laundry (which was always fucking pointless there) every time I hung up the washing on the line outside I’d either have the goat or stupid duck/geese pulling my clothes off the line and shitting on it there!
It wasn’t just the animals that were the problem either, she was a bitch, top bitch actually, she treated me like she was a man, and I was her bitch, except there was no sex involved so nothing about the relationship was beneficial to me, it’s like we were an old married couple that she thought she had a right to my head, and she liked to show her dominance all the time, she may as well have pulled down her pants and sprayed everything like a dog that’s how confused she was about her gender. So it’s safe to say she treated me like shit, I was sick for weeks, wanting to die, and she spent the whole time with her gf, I was that sick that when I dragged myself the 30 minute walk to the doctors I instantly passed out when they took my blood (and lotsa bloods been taken from me, needles are nothing), they thought I had Glandular fever. And she left me in the house alone with the disgustingness, while my chest was that fucked I could barely get custard down my throat, let alone even look after myself. I had no one to look out for me for 2 weeks while I sat in isolation watching Nip/Tuck and hoping I would die in my sleep.
I just realised I put a statement in that last paragraph that may make you question my sexuality, so I’ll tell you. I don’t really see myself as male or female, and in turn I find certain people attractive because of looks and personality. I’m attracted to humans, simple as that, I also refuse to label myself, I am with someone that I love with all my heart so my sexual preference is no longer relevant or important to me, only he is.
Also, there was another situation that happened with one of her aggressive duck goose. I was walking to the station to go to work, I had my headphones in, I was in get to work mode that goes hand in hand with waking up time, so it was clear that I was in no way paying attention to anything except walking, and even then I was always switched off in the morning, it was all just motor response to walk to the station. I had one of the fuckers land on my shoulder that started flapping and pecking at my head.
People are so damn scared of Magpies over here because of how they like to dive bomb you from anywhere no matter whether they have eggs or babies to defend. Because they are arsehole birds, but they are only the size of a cockatoo. I had a whole fucking 12kg bird land on my fucking shoulders. Their bills may not hurt but its still the equivalent of someone poking you with their finger roughly over and over, it still ends up hurting eventually.
(Welcome to Australia, where every national animal is a jerk and probably wants to kill you, even the birds. This photo is literally what every kid at my school had to deal with if you walked to school, just these magpies dive-bombing you like you murdered their mother)
So I walked back inside with the vicious thing on my shoulders, and with all my might I threw my shoulders back hard enough to hurl the bird from a doorway straight onto her bed while she was sound asleep. She woke up to a goose in the face, as you can imagine, she was a bit shocked. But fuck her, she didn’t say shit to me that night because I got to yell at her when she was too disorientated to fight back. But the last straw that broke the camels back, was when she decided to have a hissy fit about something petty, and threw all the garbage from the bin and the benches onto the floor in the kitchen when I was asleep, so I woke up to garbage everywhere. I took photos, threatened her with with the photos and told to go fuck herself, she begged me to stay, she apologised over and over, so I told her I’d stay. But I had already called my brother to come get me, so when she left the house thinking everything was ok between us, I grabbed puss and a bag and didn’t come back for the weekend. I ended up calling her after not seeing her for a week, and told her that I was moving out and that the moving truck was coming the next day. I purposely left her feeling ok and then I left, I’ve never been straight out cunty like that, but she dragged it out of me. Because I usually tried to coexist with the people I’ve had to live with, but when it comes to everyone I’ve ever lived with, if you wear me down enough I’m literally just gonna get up and leave and never come back, and there will be no warning, and I won’t give you a chance to redeem yourself if I’m at that point, I’ve done that at least 3 times, and never looked back. Fuck me over big enough, and there is no second chance with me, I only need to learn the lesson once, and I’d rather be all alone then surrounded by fuckheads.
There are a couple of things you might be asking at this stage, like why did you even go there in the first place when you knew the animals that were there and what does this story have to do with karma at all? For one, I didn’t have many options of places to live, I was kicked out of my brother Js house, so I ran to my other brother in the city (best brother) and I slept on his couch for 3 weeks until I found a house mate that actually wanted to live with me (it’s hard to find a share house when you’re socially inept and people naturally just don’t like your face, it’s even harder to find a place by yourself when your only rental history is from a caravan park that you got kicked out of because you trashed it) and in my defense when I met her she only had the cats and duck/geese so she got the rabbit and goat when I was living there, and I didn’t get a choice in the matter because I wasn’t on the lease, and if I got kicked out at that point there wasn’t very many optionals available to me to go. So I had to just shut up and accept the circumstance at the time, because if I had of stood my ground at the start, I would’ve been back on my brothers couch with no one prepared to take on Puss aswell as me.
The reason I mentioned karma is because of the series of events that happened after I left. Before I had left the duck/goose had eggs that had just hatched, also she had just purchased another giant rabbit for her gf. Two days after I left, all the baby geese just disappear, like they got eaten whole by a fox or cat. The next day, her new rabbit just has a heart attack and dies for apparently no reason at all. Two days after that, one of the duck/geese gets decapitated by some animal, and a few days after that the same ate happens to the other one, except this time it was completely ripped to shreds. But the icing on the cake was what happened to the original bunny. She found its body, without its head with NO blood anywhere around, like it was done by a person. Her animals got culled in the space of one week, so the only animals left were the cats and the stupid goat. Brother and I used to talk a lot about ways those animals could mysteriously vanish. I’ve never thought about murdering animals until I lived under those conditions, and believe me, death was probably the only escape for those animals. Kind of sucks that they got ripped apart though, 2 geese and a giant rabbit could feed you for months…
I’m joking, not joking. My brother spent 25 years of his life as a vegan, only now switching to meat only because he really needs the protein in his diet (and since he was a vegan, clearly this proves that the diet still has its flaws and humans are still meant to eat meat) so when we were discussing killing the animals that was JOKING because my brother wasn’t vegan for 25 years because he loved killing and torturing animals.And the cats weren’t even an issue because her cats wanted to stay outside away from the house, it was only my cat that had to endure things like being chased by geese and rammed by goats, so can you really blame me for wanting it dead? It’s just completely ironic that they all died like that in the same week, and calm down, do you really think I’d have it in me to kill a rabbit like that and sadistically leave the body for her to grieve over the horrible things that might’ve been done to the thing? All the evidence kind of points to me though, but I don’t have it in me to hurt an animal, but that doesn’t mean I don’t believe that killing animals is necessary in some situations, like when they are in pain, or if you are planning to eat them. If I had a gun and more patience for fishing, I’d rather kill and eat something knowing where it’s come from instead of buying meat from a supermarket where you have no idea what conditions the animals lived in or what cruelties they’ve endured. We’ve been hunting since the very beginning, there’s nothing wrong with that if your plan is to eat what you kill. If anything, that’s about as environmentally friendly as you can get but my opinion on meat will be saved for another post.
This is just one in the many stories I have when I came in like a wrecking ball into peoples lives.
If karma exists, then by fuck the bitch is angry.