Epic DIY: Homunculus aka Stuff of Nightmares

WARNING: Do not read this post if you are vigiantly opposed to human experiments or are genuinely spooked easily by stuff. This post is pretty gross.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

When I woke up this morning, I turned on YouTube as usual and went into our subscriptions page. Mr Nightmare had released a new video titled ‘Disturbing recreation of humunculus’. Considering Mr Nightmare is a creepy pasta type channel on YouTube, most of his content are most disturbing this or that, creepiest thing or person, creepy Craigslist stories that really happened etc, I didn’t really think it was going to be anything spectacular or legit at all because Mr Nightmare is meant to be creepy not real. I had no idea what a homunculus was either, according to mister we learnt about Sensory Homunculi in biology in high school but I can’t remember learning it. Sensory homunculi were just diagrams that got used to what limbs have the most feeling in them by showing the limbs in the diagram as oversized. The results of this diagram makes for the most creepiest way to explain human anatomy.

This is an example of a sensory Homunculi diagram. I swear I never got taught this in high school because biology was one of my best subjects, and I’m pretty sure I would’ve remembered these creepy mother bitches.

The reason I was taken aback and slightly disturbed considering it’s usually a laugh channel for me, was because he was actually referencing a series of real videos on YouTube. It was a Russian channel with the page translated into English the channel name was called Do It Yourself. Except this diy video was a series of ‘real’ experiments in which he almost successfully creates a homunculus.

Before I go on, for those who don’t know what the actual fuck I’m talking about, I’ll tell you what it is;

Back in the 16th century, or even before then we had alchemists. They were the closest equivalent we have now to scientists except they were a lot more spiritual. A homunculus is a little person that alchemists believed you could create by inseminating eggs or wombs of animals in a certain way. I’ll let the wiki explain the process better;

The materials required for the creation of the homunculus include human semen, a cow or ewe and animal blood, whilst the process includes the artificial insemination of the cow / ewe, smearing the inseminated animal’s genitals with the blood of another animal, and feeding it exclusively on the blood of another animal. The pregnant animal would eventually give birth to an unformed substance, which would then be places in a powder made of ground sunstone (a mystical phosphorescent elixir), sulphur, magnet, green tutia (a sulphate of iron) and the sap of a white willow. When the blob starts growing human skin, it would be required to be placed in a large glass or lead container for three days. After that, it has to be fed with the blood of its decapitated mother for seven days before becoming a fully-formed homunculus.

Pretty gross shit right? Well this Russian guys experiments were honestly disturbing. He had a chicken egg which he had made a small hole in and with a needle he inseminated the egg yolk with his semen, then put band aids on the hole and stick it in a plastic container and wrapped it up in blankets. He then left it for a while, cracked the egg open and voila.

He made 3 videos, did about 6 experiments but only showed 3 of the experiments. The first video what appeared when he cracked the egg open was this disgusting white thing that was moving, it was apparently going to die pretty quickly anyway but nonetheless it had life. The second video was the most disturbing, with the creature more slug like with a distinct mouth and eye, just as he thought it was dead it started moving, reared itself up and spat a liquid on him, so he dropped it on the table and crushed it with a book. When he lifted up the book it was all squished and bloody like he had killed something alive. The 3rd video was pretty boring with absolutely nothing happening, with him explaining you need perfect conditions, and he was merely following the directions of the old alchemy book that the instructions came from.

(This is a screenshot from the first video which he dubbed a failure even though he still achieved life)

There are some Russian channels also attempting the same thing, most as jokes but one other Russian channel claims to have successfully made one from an ostrich egg. The next episode will be out next week where they take the thing to the vet/doctor, they’ve been doing the process in a very entertaining week by week episode series. It’s so realistic that even the Hoax Alert channel on YouTube believes it’s real. So it must be real, it’s so damn disgusting and weird and the guy explained how it works and there’s proof of inter-species mating so there’s no reason why it couldn’t work, right?

Clearly the Hoax Alert has no clue about basic biology. Science has only just begun experimenting with cloning of human dna, and in no way is close to creating life from our dna. The mouse that has an ear on it is the closest science has gotten to fusing out dna with an animal. Do you remember the episode of South Park where they try to splice a pig with an elephant so they could create a pig sized elephant, and the song was like ‘pig and an elephant it just won’t splice’.

Its true because we have spliced animals, look at the dog and cat breeds. We also have Lygers which is the result of breeding a lion and tiger together, and there are also plenty of other one off anomalies and splices that we’ve done. The reason we could do it with all of these animals is because they shared similar dna so can therefore intertwine into a new species.

So do you really believe that some guy jizzed into an egg, kept it in a dark place and invented a fucking life form? Don’t you think we would be marketing the shit out of that like sea monkeys.

Listen up children, do you want a miniature version of you? With this simple diy homunculus kit you can have all the fun of a homunculus without any of the work or research involved! Just stick your already jizzed in egg into our homunculus incubator, leave it for 3 days and hey presto, you have your very own 16th century alchemy best friend. For a limited time only buy one get one free.

So yeah, considering these guys have the Internet fooled, I’m impressed. Epic hoax. Applause warranted, well done, now everyone is even more confused about how basic biology works.

Alchemy is what we practised before Christ even existed, you can’t use that as a base of explanation over science.

But it’s a pretty cute spooky entertainment once you know it’s fake. If you’re interested in watching the videos then I’ll link the Mr Nightmare video below which directly links to the original video in the description.

Mr Nightmare Homuculus video here