Shove It Up Your Fucking Up-Skill

If there’s 2 things I can’t stand is bullshit qualifications and unsolicited calls trying to sell me education, especially when I’m on the Do Not Call registry and I’m still getting hassled by these persistent fucks.So considering all this I thought I was well within my rights to vent my true opinions on up-skilling.

Back in the day you used to have a choice about whether you wanted to continue studying after high school. You did your last 2 years of high school (years 11 and 12) doing VCE if you wanted to go to university to study to be a doctor, lawyer you know all the good jobs. If you wanted to be a tradey that was cool too, instead of doing VCE you did VCAL which taught you basic work place etiquette, ohs (occupational health & safety) and you chose what tafe course you wanted to do so by the end of school you could go either get a job in an office or factory doing basic stuff, or you did a 4 year apprenticeship in a trade like a mechanic or plumber which you work, study once a week and get paid fuck all, but at least your working and gaining a qualification.

You used to be able to choose never to study if you wanted to, and just do a minimum wage job, that’s what my mum did. She got a basic data entry job at the hospital when she was 19, and kept it till only these last 2 years where she’s now retired at 65. And she never needed a qualification, she gained upgrades to her job and pay through her own hard work.

Why can’t it just be like that again? Why do I need at least a Certificate II in Business Administration to do the same fucking thing as mum did? What’s even the point of certificates anyway like that, it only makes sense for a trade. You still end up with a minimum wage job even with the highest tafe certificate, a diploma (gasp), because even though you may of spent 3 years studying that diploma some arsehole in university has just completed his Bachelor of Business, a fucking university qualification, and he’s going for the same job as you. Yeah, fat fucking chance you’re getting anywhere with a diploma over a bachelor even though you studied for the same amount of years (one less for diploma, but depending on whether the Uni kid goes for a bachelor, honours or Ph.D. depends on how long he studies for).

But that’s what I’m saying, the Uni kids deserve the good jobs because they studied for them, so please tell me why people that don’t want to study have to study to do jobs that you don’t need to study for? It’s fucking stupid and pointless and makes it 10 times ticking harder to get a job now because employers can be picky as shit because of the sheer amount of people that go for entry level jobs that require NO qualifications on the job ad but when you get to the interview they bitch and whinge saying you don’t have enough experience or qualifications for the fucking entry level position!

ENTRY LEVEL MEANS FOR PEOPLE WITHOUT EXPERIENCE, HOW CAN YOU BE TOO INEXPERIENCED FOR A JOB THAT REQUIRES NO EXPERIENCE?!?!?!?!??!

So with this new Up-Skill bullshit comes a new type of bullshit telemarketer, the Diploma brigades, and trust me they are more persistent and annoying then fake phone companies from India.

I didn’t do year 12 I did year 11 twice, why? Well, when I switched from Emerald Secondary to Caulfield Park Community I massively jumped from a public school of 700 kids to a tiny alternative school of only 35 kids. Because Caulfield was founded as a school for street kids who were in resi care or homeless still had somewhere to go to school, and to eat because there was a kitchen where you could make yourself breakfast before school started. I wasn’t a street kid, but I was definitely a problem child in societies eyes, so I did really well there. I kind of skipped year 9 entirely and they moved me up a year 2 weeks in because of maturity level (because the stuff they taught was super basic) so was in year 10 for only half a year and was in year 11 and doing VCAL a year before I was supposed to. In that time I got my certificate II in Business Administration, because it’s part of VCAL to do a course once a week and because I didn’t know what the fuck I wanted to do with my life I chose business because I thought it was a smart back up idea. But because I did so well there I thought I was capable of doing VCE, but you can’t just jump into year 12 VCE without doing year 11 first, and Caulfield only offered VCAL. So I left Caulfield and went to another community school, except this was only for year 11 and 12, so only 17 and 18 year olds, and it was located right next to a university, both called Swinburne, Swinburne secondary and Swinburne University. So you got to dress how you wanted and leave the school at recess, lunch or whenever you had free periods. There was no penalty system like a regular high school, you were treated like a Uni kid, like a young adult not a child.

These were also alternative kids that didn’t fit into mainstream, except they weren’t uncivilised like the Caulfield kids, they were brought up like me in a stable housing situation at least. You’d think I would’ve done well there but nope, I felt so alone, I made no friends and I didn’t fit in anywhere, I didn’t even fit in with the people who supposedly aren’t meant to fit in anywhere…

And I completed year 11 VCE but I left before year 12 because it was too hard, not the work itself but the workload. I’ve hated school since when I first started primary school at 4. Caulfield was like a loving family home where they concentrated more or the reach program (which was getting kids to talk through abstract activities performed in a blackened room) and getting kids out and about and having fun, being normal. These kids were junkies with terrible upbringings but that school helped so many stay in school and pass year 12 and do something with their lives. Fuck, you could smoke in school, the teachers were on first name basis, there was a gym and a constant punching bag up, plus dedicated walls for the kids to graffiti on so they wouldn’t do it anywhere else (only helped the other areas of the school not the public walls or trains or anything). I should’ve stayed there and done year 12, this is what happens when you shoot above your means when you know in yourself that you hate school and training.

Every school forces you to pick a path when you’re young. What if you don’t know? What if you’ve been passionate about so many things for the span of a week and then your interest is elsewhere? What if your goal in life isn’t a career choice and it’s merely just happiness?

You shouldn’t need a certificate III in business to do basic data entry. You shouldn’t need a certificate III in retail to serve people in a clothing shop in the middle of a shopping centre. You shouldn’t need a certificate III in warehousing to unload and pack boxes, or be on a sorting line. You shouldn’t need a certificate 1 in food preparations to then go for a certificate III in hospitality to then be able to wash dishes in the back of a restaurant. And it’s especially stupid that a fully qualified builder now has to do a certificate I in fucking ladder safety!

Yes the government may pay for you to do these certificates but only if they’re in business, retail, warehousing, child care, old aged care, beauty or hairdressing. Those all sound like terrible jobs to me.

So as I said to the girl this morning, these new government incentives that I’m now entitled to ARENT new and I’ve always been entitled to those incentives. I refuse to waste my time studying something that I don’t even want to do to get a shitty minimum wage job that has long hours and fuck all pay. I’m also not prepared to continuously go through failed interview after failed interview because of lack of job for long periods of time. I’ve tried studying 3 fucking diplomas, 2 beauty courses, 1 child care course, 1 food handlers course and I pretty well got tired of it all and that’s what I’ve been doing in the time frames of not having a job!

Fuck this system. I refuse.

I will struggle on doing what I’m doing, making art and planning a business. I will be my own boss. I will not play by societies rules. I refuse to succumb to a life of mediocrity having spent my entire time I could’ve been living doing a job I hate.

I don’t accept that as my only option.

Shove your up skilling up your arse.

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3 thoughts on “Shove It Up Your Fucking Up-Skill

  1. I blame falling scholastic standards. If you lower standards for everything, then no diploma is worth anything. And in the current economy it seems like a whole generation of Uni students came out with not just lowered standards diplomas, but completely worthless skills. Let me ask this: how many people do YOU know that went to school to learn how to be a (ugh) web designer. I knew dozens. And they were only taught how to manipulate user end software. They don’t know how to code. They don’t know how to get around in a computer unless they’ve got a little dancing wizard. And every other place on the internet has ‘free’ web page designs. So tell me: where are these people getting jobs? McDonalds?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s as especially disheartening for the unemployed looking for work, because the moment you put you number into job search websites while you’re looking for work, those phone numbers then get past onto these bullshit education telemarketers. So just when you’ve applied for like 25 jobs and your phone rings and you think it must be an employer surely, but fucking no, it’s some prick ringing to say you’ve applied for heaps of jobs clearly your too stupid, take one of our free government incentive programs for a 65% success rate of employment after you gain the qualification. Fuck off. Yeah I’ve heard the exact same speech at least 50 times last year while I was job searching, doesn’t really do much for your self esteem.

      Liked by 1 person

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