This post was originally going to be about just one subject but then I thought, hey, this is already going to be a pretty unpopular opinion on the subject, so why not write a whole post about my unpopular opinions on a bunch of subjects instead of just one. I realise these opinions may either make or break me on here, and that my stats have been pretty low lately and that this probably won’t help, or will I don’t know yet.
This was never meant to be a personal blog, yet I made it personal because I saw that was what was getting attention in my subscriber group. I didn’t intend to draw attention to my illnesses and life because it’s fucking depressing, and I’ve already got this shit off my chest years ago. I’m finally doing what I wanted the blog to be about; cool stuff I find on YouTube, rants, meaningful opinions, art, music, gaming, theatre, stupid movies, horror, weird stuff… None of that says Kim’s personal life in there as a goal to blog about. But it happened and that’s fine, and I’ve met some amazing friends (Lola/Beeps), it just sucks that all of the people who used to like my stuff stopped, because of that week of absence and that kind of sucks. This is a post of me being honest, that’s how I honestly feel. I don’t belong in the community I began in and that’s ok, I’ve spent my whole life not fitting into groups. It’s really self defeating posting something you want to post and having no views or likes, only to have written a thing tailored for the people reading and it getting all the likes. If you find yourself not liking my new material then I’m sorry but you don’t like who I really am, and after 5 months, 63 subscribers and over 60 posts written, I’m not prepared to write stuff that appeals to the masses. I’ve always been a tiny part of the minority, and I’m not changing my writing style or topics, I believe there has to be people like me on here and I’ll find them or they’ll find me.
So that’s my first bout of honesty about my own thoughts about my blog. The next are going to probably piss you off. Keep in mind though I am from Australia, I am female, I am short with e cup sized boobs, I am socially impaired, I’m opinionated, but uneducated, I am a victim of sexual/physical/emotional abuse as well as a traumatising rape incident where they broke my arm and left me in a gutter at 11 years old, I am part of a wide group of minorities who still get treated like shit. In this country though we don’t have the same issues America or other nations. We are small, our natives got culled generations and generations ago, so even though we have native Australians, it’s not the same issue as the Native Americans, so yeah, the black thing isn’t really an issue here. Racism is still an issue though don’t get me wrong but that’s against immigrants, not the people already in the country. The government looks after the remaining Aborigines, even one of our MPs decided to apologise to them on Australia’s behalf so that’s nice. Our country may be somewhat accepting of mental illness but it doesn’t excuse you from not being able to work. Our rape culture is pretty bad but it seems that way everywhere anyway. Oh another thing I should add is we don’t all get guns. Only people proven sane and responsible with money get guns. And even if you used one in self defence and you had a license for it, you’d still get in trouble. It’s much more stabby over here though, you’re more likely to get shanked. Keep all of these points from this paragraph in mind when you read my opinions.
I don’t like the concept of trigger warnings when they’re put on an obviously labelled title. I guess I feel this way because I’m so numb to sex and violence now it just doesn’t trigger me at all, in fact, it does the opposite. I got severely fucked up in a different way. Even then, there are people in poverty in other countries, women getting circumcised not to mention the atrocities that our soldiers would have to experience, but people are that sensitive over here that I need to put up a trigger warning just for writing about any of it? If life is that traumatising that you can’t just read something that doesn’t have anything to do with you without relating it back to yourself? What are you even doing on the internet then? It’s probably the worst place for you to be. I think if you’ve rated your blog or channel or page a mature rating which I believe you can, then can’t you be adult enough to handle adult themes? The world is going so soft soon we will have no idea how to fend for ourselves if something happened. It’s not up to everyone else to protect you from being triggered. I read shit that offends me all the time, but it’s still the right of the writer to write anything they want. Freedom of speech above all else, and trigger warnings are a scary little way of censorship in my eyes.
I hate the fact I have to back up my opinions with my past of mental illness and sexual abuse just so the person reading would even think about taking my opinion on board. This has been grinding on me with a few certain people and blogs, all of whom I haven’t seen in ages so they probably unsubscribed. Because your mentality is that if you don’t have a mental illness then you’re not empathetic and you also have no idea what it’s like to feel these ways. I’m sorry but that’s backwards hypocrisy. You expect understanding and acceptance from people without mental illnesses, you don’t want to be defined or judged by your illness yet in the same paragraph want it to be known that that is what you are. Mental illness exists, and it sucks, and it’s hard, but there are perks to it which, be honest, deep down we like to use to our own personal advantage at times. You know, the times you get angry unreasonably and at the time it gives you the excuse to blast the innocent party and then can conveniently blame a mood swing. Again, I’m in no way saying everyone does this, and that mental illnesses can’t be incredibly destructive, it can, but at the same time a lot of the time disorders are managed when you stop putting emphasis on the illness and start thinking about the reasons why it happened. It’s also a really good excuse to be a cunt, it gives you an excuse to not think before you speak, and although you may see that as honesty, could you imagine a world where everyone blurted out whatever was up the top of their head? It’s already happening now, general politeness is a responsibility that everyone needs to have. Grow up to the real world, we all wear masks, we all put on what we want others to see, we are all fake, the ones that love you will always accept the real you, that doesn’t mean that the rest of the world has to. Plus, doctors really don’t have that much knowledge on mental illness, there aren’t really any physical tests as yet so all they can do is guess essentially from what you’ve told them. Here’s proof that they all have different opinions, I’ll give you my time line of diagnosis, whilst being slightly annoyed that I’m still justifying my opinion;
- Psych 1 – PTSD
- Psych 2 – BPD
- Psych 2 – BPD & Generalised Anxiety Disorder
- Psych 3 – BPD, Generalised Anxiety Disorder & Major Depressive Disorder
- Registry of Psychiatry – Bipolar II
- Psych 4 – BPD & Bipolar II
- Psych 3 again – BPD, Generalised Anxiety Disorder & Bipolar III (it doesn’t exist it’s just they didn’t know what it was so called it that)
- Psych 5 – BPD & Generalised Anxiety Disorder
My total med count stands at 25, with 5 psychiatrists seen plus was even discussed by the entire registry, 7 doctors, 6 psychologists, 4 counsellors, 9 social workers. It was all pretty fucking confusing for me, what am I? The psychiatrists haven’t got a clue either that’s for sure. I don’t know what I am, what I do know is that I’m far too complex, difficult and original to be branded with a label and thrown in a group like that. I’m worth more then that. I am flawed, I’ve been broken, but I heal, I can feel happiness, I can experience love, cut me and I’ll bleed. I am human, not BPD, I am me, uniquely flawed and gifted, and as soon as you realise it about yourself, you’ll realise that you are the only one who can set you on the right course of therapy. And everyday for me has been one day forward, one days worth of progress, achieved by me not by any therapist.
Most of the time I hate your children, I’m uncomfortable around them, they’re too breakable, too loud, too annoying. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t dive in front of a bus to save a child’s life, I would, cross my heart. But that doesn’t mean I have to like them. In all fairness it’s not really the child I hate, it’s you parent. After rehearsing a musical for 6 months, 3 nights of the week training hard only to get to performance night to have some crying brat screaming obnoxiously through every quiet scene. I hate you, your baby, your wife, your husband, your parents, your grandparents, every person in your family that formed the timeline to that baby’s conception where you and it existed to fuck up the performance I spent 6 months working on! I have no idea what it’s like to be a parent and I’m cool with that, the good nights sleep, the irresponsibility and the silence, I guess that’ll have to satisfy me for now over the emotional abundance of joy that is a baby (snort). Even though I am not a parent, I do know parents who have respect enough for the world around them to either take the child out of the situation or tell them off for it. I’m not saying get your belt out and beat them black and blue, in fact, I’m not even suggesting using force at all. But for fucks sake is it that hard to just take your child and walk out of theatre?! Not only have you wrecked it for the hard-working performers but you’ve also wrecked it for the audience who paid good money to see some musicals. Don’t play the it’s so hard to be a parent card on me, it’s not like asking for common curtesy is asking for a lot, you are capable of being a parent and being courteous, everyone else is curteous to you every other day in every other situation.
So, this is my last unpopular opinion. I think Americas gun laws are dumb. I think that stopping gun crime by providing people with more guns is stupid logic. And no, it’s not because I’m a tree hugging hippie that thinks guns are weapons and weapons are bad, let’s all go eat tofu. No. I think crazy, emotionally unstable people with guns kill people. Notice how I didn’t say, guns don’t kill people, people kill people. I think that statement is incorrect on a lot of levels, because that suggests everybody who buys a gun is doing so for the intent of killing someone. I believe, from what I’ve learnt through tv that is which is a fairly unreputable source of knowledge but anyway, that the average American buys a gun in case of a house intrusion, because in all fairness to you guys the horror stories of break ins are pretty fucked up over there. So I completely understand the fear. Unfortunately in the laws eyes everyone has to be treated the same, kind of like a classroom situation where one kid fucks up so the rest of the class gets punished just because of that one kid. It’s why need to put warning labels on everything nowadays like peanut butter, warning may contain peanuts. No shit Sherleck, nice save of day Captain Obvious. It’s not the general population that’s stupid, it’s the minority, so because there’s say 25% at least of the world are absolute idiots, the warning labels have to go everywhere just in case. Same with the gun laws except in Americas case it’s a bit more dangerous. Because if everyone has the right to a gun which I’ve heard babbled constititution and all that political stuff, then that means even crazy, irrational psychopaths also have a right to own a gun. And so it’s a never ending gun cycle over there. Your system is flawed for sure, but ours is flawed in a different way. If we hurt someone defending ourselves over with a weapon then we would get in trouble, you’re only allowed to use reasonable physical force. The only time we see guns is at shooting ranges, people going hunting or the shops that only sell guns so licensed, mentally stable people who are in no way allowed to use it as a form of defense. We are only a small country so it’s unrealistic to see our way work over there. Maybe some form of check is recommended. OR IT WONT WORK AT ALL AND AMERICAS GUN LAWS ARE FINE, please don’t yell at me! I guess, you do you America, you do you.
These were all just my deep down being honests and putting myself out there. All these were written without any vicious intent, so if you read it that way then I’m sorry it wasn’t my intention. I guess this post is a test to see how much honesty is really valued.
I love you. Please don’t hate me. 😘