Kim is Offline, try again later

So, today is Tuesday, for those of you who may not have known what day of the week it was, you’re welcome.

But if you didn’t read my Too Much post (which most of you didn’t because I seem to be having either a viewer issue or just a case of shitty writing) I said I had to be out by the 4th, and we have people over for inspections on Wednesday and Saturday. I failed to mention (I think) that we procrastinated all the house work till Monday and today and tomorrow before 4pm.

I had gone to bed pretty early last night because I was wrecked from the hectic day of cleaning yesterday (lucky for me though a long lasting bout of hypomania has kept me both energised and full of verbal diarrhoea that needs to be expelled through word so mister doesn’t have to constantly be listening to me non-stop), so I woke up pretty early this morning, aside from the usual zombie drone like symptoms that comes from taking seroquel.

We have a land line telephone alongside our mobile phones, not by choice but because our internet plan had to come with the phone. But we just can’t call out on it if we don’t want to pay for the land line on top of our internet, as well as both our mobile phone bills. And the only people that know that number (I don’t even know what the number is) is Telstra our internet provider, mum, and any other arsehole telemarketer that string phone numbers together.

And then the fucking phone rang and wrecked my day.

One thing you need to know about me. I may wake up early a lot of the time, but that doesn’t make me a morning person, I’m a night person who barely lives on sleep. Me and mister spend all day together and neither of us work, the reason we can coexist and still be in a happy loving relationship is the times of the day we choose to stay awake through. I wake up early, fall asleep earlier and mister stays up super late and sleeps in late. It’s my time in the morning, I wake up, get a coffee, write a post, fuck around for a bit, then fuck around some more. Come to think of it, blogging is the only regular or useful thing I do at the moment. It’s better this way because I’m not good at waking up, I need my time to be alone, I need silence, then I need noise I want to hear. I don’t like talking to people unless I’ve called them. If it’s the other way around and you start trying to converse with me via talking in the first 2 hours of me waking up, well…

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So at 8pm only 5 minutes of consciousness, I was not prepared for the niceties I need to perform to interact with mum. And so the conversation that happened sort of went down like this;

Mum – I thought I’d go down to fng and get my hair done, do you need boxes? Because I was just going to head over to a place near your house that sells boxes and I’ll bring them over.

Kim – you know we need boxes, you took the last boxes we had and used them. But I’ll pick them up when we go to your place or later when we go look at houses in 3 days. (Because it’s not like we don’t literally go over every fucking week without fail even though they live a fair distance, and our car is a crappy fuel guzzling wagon. I obviously didn’t say this part.)

Mum – no I’m already going to be close by it’ll be a lot easier, I’ll just drop of the boxes and we will get lunch.

Kim – muuuuuuum, the house inspection is tomorrow! The house is already gross plus this isn’t enough warning!

Mum – well as your mother I thought I was allowed to just drop by, you made plans an hour before you came over last week.

Kim – yeah alright then I’m sorry just let me know when you’ll be here.

Mum – plus how am I meant to know when a good time to call you is, half of the time you call me early then when I call you you’ve slept in. And it’s by myself you left the cleaning this late and caused yourself all this stress blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah responsibility blah blah procrastination blah rent blah bind, boxes blah blah blah.

Kim – ok cool see you soon then.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! So angry so annoyed, I then had to be like to mister get the fuck up, and have him sit there uselessly for an hour because of anxiety from being woken up in the morning (this is a real and very annoying issue). My mums not that terrible, but out of all the people who want to randomly call in out of the blue, my mother has got to be the number one most not wanted people dropping in. All I felt was old childhood resentment that was very reminiscent to teenagehood.

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So I cleaned like a meth head on payday this morning. And then an hour later I get a call going how many boxes do you want? What sizes do you need? I was still sleepy and annoyed and was screaming in my head I DONT FUCKING KNOW JUST GET BOXES, WE HAVE A 2 BEDROOM FLAT THAT ALL NEEDS PACKING, YOU DO THE FUCKING MATH! But I did not scream this at my mother. Like a good daughter who knows their mothers scrupulous saving efforts, I said, get whatever’s cheapest, and we will bum the rest from Bunnings.

But the thing is with my mum, if you don’t give her specific instructions, and are vague, she will come back sometimes with unexpected things. She ends up taking about half an hour more then she said she would (because she would’ve spent the whole time brutally questioning the sales clerk on sizes and prices) and came back with 4 different sized sets of 4 boxes. Some are that big that if we pack them we probably won’t be able to move them if we packed them even half way…

But she bought us KFC, and food charity is always appreciated. And I know her intentions are good. It’s just, I need mental preparation to deal with mum, we know how to push each other’s buttons and are very similar people other then the severe age gap between us. So the questions were never fucking ending with her. Did you get the bond form in? Yes (we didn’t, I just told her that for less pestering). Have you ring some real estates? No, I’ve been cleaning and filling out long government housing forms. Have you started packing yet? No, we haven’t had boxes! When are you going to look at houses? Between the house inspections. Yeah but when? I don’t fucking know yet I haven’t rung the real estate yet! You just need to clear the shelves off, you need to move this you need to fix that. Do this, this way. Geez mum just let me deal with this, and stop telling me to not stress out because you’re the one stressing me out! I will do what I feel is right, I’ll be ok, I’m not entirely useless. Just let me big a big fucking girl and make my own decisions. I do what I want mum, I always have, you know this.

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I love my mum, don’t get me wrong. And I am legit grateful that I have her in my life and with a fairly decent relationship when many others have tragic stories. At the end of the day, this is nothing more then a first world problem rant.

But fuck me, sometimes I wish reality just had an offline mode.

 

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