Nintendohemian Rhapsody

Back in my day, gaming used to be hard…

Back when I was younger then 8, the Aunty used to have The Lion King on her computer. It originally came out on the Super Nintendo, but they had this special deal on some computer, where it came with the game installed on it, and that was the only reason she had it.

I tried so hard to beat it back then, so hard. I realise now that I didn’t have much of a chance back then because this game is one of the top hardest games on Super Nintendo.

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It was only a basic sideways platform game like Mario, but it was ridiculously harder. It is the most unforgiving game when it comes to timing, an example of this is when you need Simba to swing from something onto something else. If you do not time this properly then Simba just falls like a sack of shit. And then, if you do make the stupidly timed jumps, you are met with another obstacle that will most likely end your life if you don’t see it coming. There’s also a grand total of 1 checkpoint right in the middle of the level, and only one continue which is usually hidden. Lion cub Simba is also pretty useless, with his main move being growl, which only helps by making blue bugs explode in the first level…

Weird blue bugs that just spontaneously combust every time a small lion growls at it… Seems legit to me.

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But what this game 100 times more difficult then just about everything that came out on the Super Nintendo, was the fact that there was NO save files.

No saves.

You have to somehow navigate a shaky, hard to control Simba through the stupid troll like episodes without dying too much. You had one chance each level to get a continue, if you didn’t find it then you’re probably fucked.

Plus, the mechanics are so old and shitty that if you press a button too hard, Simba will just roll, into an enemy, off a cliff, pretty well kills himself in any inconvenient way he can. Stoopid Simba…

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Simba, noooo!

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Goddamit, fuck…

A continue in a game like this is an extra opportunity when you hit the Game Over screen to try again from the same level you died on, instead of sending you all the way back to the start.

Kids these days will never know the frustrations of ‘Lives’ and ‘Game Overs’, like us 90s kids had to face. You don’t even get lives in new games! You die and you just spawn back in the same spot. Where’s the fucking challenge in that?

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Here’s a disappointed Raffiki to remind you how much you SUCK at games. There’s no such thing as ‘game over’ in games anymore.

Games aren’t hard anymore, games aren’t challenging anymore. Games were unforgiving back in the day, and you needed to be quick. There was dial up internet so it wasn’t as easy to just look up a walk through or a cheat if you got stuck, you had to just keep trying.

And you know what, the most satisfying thing in the world is to beat a game that made you as frustrated as you thought humanly possible.

Plus, I have a point to prove with this game. If I beat it, then there will be no doubt in my mind that I am pretty fucking good at games.

Damn old school Nintendo…

 

 

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8 thoughts on “Nintendohemian Rhapsody

      1. No, very little. For one, I didn’t have a unit – my hands were already hurting by the time I was 10, so I just didn’t get into gaming too much before the point and click stuff. But I knew gamers, and always liked to watch someone good at a game play.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I’m terrible at old school Nintendo and platform games in general. I still haven’t made it past level 2 of Mario 1. My day home had an original NES and I only got to play when I came over. If I had had my own, i might have been just stubborn enough to get better at it. Lion King sounds stupid hard.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It took me a while to master Mario, it helped having a ps1 playing games like Crash Bandicoot or Spyro to make me better at running and jumping. I’ve been stuck in lvl 3 of the lion king, and I’ve already had to restart over 15 times…

      Liked by 1 person

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