Why are relationships so hard? And I don’t just mean romantic ones, I mean ALL of them.
I really hate the fact that I’m using the same title twice, but the truth is Uncertain went in a completely different direction to how it started, and this makes more sense to the first.
Well, it makes sense to me anyway, fucked if I know what makes sense to any one else…
I feel like every time I write something I’m deeply offending someone. I feel like, when I read things, some comments make me angrier then what another person takes it as. I feel like I’m being attacked personally when I am probably not being attacked at all.
I feel hurt when I read that someone is hurting. I feel overloaded when I get comments and people use … in a way I do not understand, as in I literally do not understand why people need to use this >… as anything other then doubt, which is how I use it. I feel like I do not have the ability to understand a joke or a metaphor. I feel like I cannot take anything any other way then literally.
I love poetry and art so much yet I do not understand it when I read it on here, I can only appreciate the beautifully structured way people write words…
I feel like a genius and a mongoloid simultaneously.
I feel like nothing changes when in all reality I’m dead scared all the time of the change that happens around me.
I feel like companionship is almost so good at the time it feels like a drug, and you always have to come down from that high, and the crash is almost unbearable.
I feel so guilty, but I know I haven’t done anything wrong.
I feel so selfless, but get told on a constant that I’m selfish.
I feel all the pain in others, yet I can never see it when it’s happening right in front of my face.
WordPress has been the one place, and I mean the only place, I’ve ever felt like I belong on. Yet at the same time I’m scared. Scared of opinions, scared of people, but most of all… Scared I’m going to convince myself that I shouldn’t be on here.
Is this it then?
Is life always going to feel this volitile?
Why can’t the psychs just give me a diagnosis? Why do I need so many sessions?
Why am I so complicating to everyone? Am I speaking a different, incompatible version of English?
Is this all worth it? Am I worth it?…
I just want to know what’s wrong with me…