Merry Fucking Christmas (For the Second Year)

This is officially my second obligatory Christmas post, meaning I miraculously remembered to post again and I’ve thought of a theme for it…

My new Christmas WordPress tradition is to post something that is most likely going to offend someone, because Merry Fucking Christmas from the anti-PC community.

Let’s celebrate another uncensored Christmas.

This is the one time of the year where I can get out all my feelings about religion and the works, because Christmas has always been the one time of the year where my family let me rant without interruption.

So let me spread the joy.

Just for the record, I’m not religious, I am agnostic meaning I can not be sure either way of the existence of anything. Overall I don’t really give a fuck, it doesn’t affect my life in the slightest.

Nothing is above being ripped on though.

Enjoy a Judging by the Cover, the Nativity Scene

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Day 21, 4 Days before the Purge, I mean Christmas

I could bitch and moan all about how much I hate this holiday, but I’m not that much of a grinch..

This has been a shit year for me, I’m not going to sugar-coated and I don’t really give a fuck how melodramatic that sounds.

It’s been rough man, seriously. I don’t particularly want to re-cap it but some of the shittier lowlights of the year were; the ending of a serious relationship, being completely wrong about a diagnosis which resulted in ending of said relationship, and the aftermath of weening off medications.

Not to mention the worst thing of the year; the mass culling of the Pokemon.

I sold my Pokemon collection for him, so we could survive. It’s been hurting ever since the release of the new games, Sun and Moon.

 Since the first Ds games, Diamond and Pearl came out, I have literally bought every title since these latest games. Not only that, they were pre-ordered and I never missed a midnight launch, and I bought both of them, so I could trade with myself. Not to mention the game guides.

I missed a midnight launch, I should be playing Pokemon right now…

I missed a launch…

Pokemon was a big part of who I was. When I was on facebook I was admin for a page called Do You Even Squirtle, my job was to post the memes of the Pokemanz, and by fuck I took my meme job seriously. All the pokemanz memes for my nerdy bethren.

This time, for the past 4 years, I would be playing Pokemon.

People are shit by the way. I don’t mean to be cryptic. But I was stupid, and I don’t want to talk about it. But I really wanted an excuse to use these Vegeta gifs and dredge up and old meme; Kim’s anger levels:

So I decided to delete all my stupid dating apps, and just giving up on that idea.

Maybe I was meant to be alone.

I mean, I watched a couple of Youtube videos which really made me think, and I’m going to link them, because they’re cool and you should watch them.

Thoughty2 – Intelligent People have Fewer Friends

The School Of Life – Alternatives to Marriage

At the end of the day, as the School of Life video mentions, life is suffering, no matter what choice you make, who you see or don’t, it all comes with joy and sadness.

And I think that the type of suffering I choose is the loneliness that goes hand in hand with lack of social interaction.

I feel I still gain more being alone.

Leave Pewdiepie Alone! (please look at me, I have Pewds in the title!)

For anybody who has lived under a rock, or pays no attention to what is happening on the internet, this is Felix Kjellberg, aka PEEEEEEEEEWDIEPIEEEEEEE, aka the King of Youtube.

Now you know the situation on Youtube is dire when I come out actually defending Pewdiepie, I didn’t think there would ever come a point where I needed to write something like this.

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(The cringe is very, very real)

But seriously Youtube, what the fuck? Why are you punishing youtubers? Why are you punishing people like me who support your website in the biggest possible way? I literally spend at least 2 hours of my day watching Youtube, everyday. I was even paying for Youtube Red with its serious lack of content. I mean, come on Youtube, the amount of content you have you could probably watch it all in the space of a day, you have at the most like a 10th of content that Netflix has, and you’re still charging like $7 more then Netflix!

And to make it worse, since my membership has been cut because I couldn’t afford it anymore, Youtube is now punishing me with minute long adds that you can’t skip every fucking video, even to the point where there’s adds half way through videos!

Fuck you Youtube! This is not how you convince people to view shit on your website!

Look, I understand that Youtube Red was invented for the benefit of the Youtuber so that they can have a regular income from videos instead of just relying on views, which is the bulk of where Youtubers get their money from. I also understand that the biggest perk of Youtube Red is the lack of adds. But that isn’t the job of the viewer to make sure that Youtubers get viewed for the hard work and content they produce, it’s Youtubes!

Why the fuck aren’t you looking after your Youtubers, Youtube? These are the people that drive in all the revenue, basically, they are your employees, you wouldn’t even be a website if it weren’t for these people!

Youtube changes the algorithms of how you view videos all the time. Most of the time these changes overall improve statistics for Youtubers, but this latest change has seen an incredible amount of view drops for a fair amount of Youtubers, Pewdiepie was included in this too, with his views dropping significantly (for him anyway).

A lot of Youtubers made videos on these changes, A LOT. There have been channels on the way up now completely out of search results. There have been channels shutting down because they are no longer making enough money to warrant the amount of time, effort or money to make videos.

That’s sad.

It’s kind of sad to say that Youtube is now just as soulless as any of the mainstream media channels now. Youtube used to be about YOU, about ANYONE being able to upload a video, it was such a celebration of unique people and the creative content that they make. Now it’s just about bombarding you with standard shit that’s no different from what you see on TV. Why the fuck are people like Jimmy Kimmel, Ellen Degeneres and even the fucking Rock doing on Youtube? Why is Youtube promoting this? It’s not fucking fair! I’m watching Youtube to escape celebrities like this!

Back in the day, the main people on Youtube were animators, now if you’re an animator, you’re lucky that you can even afford to feed yourself, because they killed any revenue animators were getting about 4 years ago.

Because according to Youtube; Fuck art, fuck creativity, let’s promote these celebrities because they’re popular, let’s cut out anything that makes the website unique and turn it into a mass money-making drone like the rest of the media.

They’ve made this point very clear all year, what with the fucking brilliant ‘Youtube Hero’ idea. What a joke Youtube, real smart idea. Give the power of being able to strike down videos (which by the way, everytime a youtube video gets striked, it takes weeks for the Youtuber to fight for the video to get put back up, even though it may not have deserved the strike in the first place, and while it’s down no one can watch it, so it gets no views therefore no money) to the fucking public! Are you fucking serious?! Have you even been into a comment section on any Youtube video? It’s just a bunch of spastic kids spewing bullshit all over the place. And you want to give them the power to destroy the livelihoods of Youtubers?

It’s because you’re fucking lazy Youtube, why hire people with intelligence who can actually screen through Youtube and take down the bad shit like porn, or pirated movies. Noooo, it’s a lot cheaper to just employ the public to do the job you ca’t be bothered paying someone to do. Who gives a shit who gets affected, at least people only have themselves to blame if shit goes wrong.

It’s sad that the Youtube rewind had at least 5 known celebrities in it, the main one being the Rock, which they liked to throw in almost every scene. To anybody who doesn’t know what the Youtube Rewind is, it’s a video created every year by Youtube themselves meant to promote and show all the things that happened over the year with Youtubers. It’s always been to show off the biggest Youtubers, introduce you to different ones you may not have seen. So why is it, the biggest Youtuber ever, Pewdiepie, has less screen time then the fucking Rock and James fucking Cordon?

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(Scene from Youtube Rewind, 2016. Dwayne, you do not belong here!)

Pewdiepie is quite literally the most famous Youtuber ever, a celebrity in his own right, promote the Pewds at least, don’t promote wankers like James Cordon, and his dumb car karaoke bullshit act!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now to the main point of the heading of this heading…

Journalists have been spending a great deal of time whinging about Pewdiepie over his last stunt. Pewdiepie made a video, much like everyone else did, explaining how his views have dropped down to only 2 million views in comparison the like the 10 million he normally receives. He also explained that yes, he still makes a lot of money, but he’s making the video to bring light to the subject for all the smaller youtubers getting deeply affected by it.

This is when articles like Pewdiewhine started. I mean, how dare he complain about his views dropping when he’s already made a fuck tonne of money?

Pewdiepie then released an incredibly controversial video about how at 50 million subscribers he was going to delete his channel.

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(You’ve gotta give points to the Pewds, whether you think he’s an idiot or not, he’s a marketing genius)

Now, anybody who watches Pewdiepie regularly, or is even interested in pop culture in general knows that Pewdiepie never takes anything seriously. Most of the shit that spews out his mouth is meant to funny, humorous. I mean fuck me, he’s a dude that plays video games for a living, he’s not Hitler.

I’m not even joking, this is the criticism that Felix is facing, being described as a nazi and the ‘Hitler’ of Youtube because of a comment made in jokes on the video.

OMG the over-sensitivity is astounding! Use your fucking brain people, do you really think the biggest Youtuber in the history of Youtube is serious when he says that Youtube has something against white people (Pewdiepie is white you know)? Don’t you think that sounds a bit silly? 

I don’t care what your feelings on Pewdiepie are, he is what made Youtube as big as what it is, he’s been around since 2006. Also, picking on Pewdiepie is only masking the bigger issue Youtube has, which is that Youtubers are suffering under this new algorithm which deems it necessary to promote soulless talk-show celebrities who are already on TV!

And seriously, did you really think Pewdiepie was going to delete his channel, c’mon guys, you’re all just butt hurt you fell for the best trolling of the year.

(I have Pewdiepie in the title, does that mean I get views for this post now?)

 

Because Nothing Says Xmas Like Fart Jokes

There’s not much I like Christmas, but one of the best parts about Christmas is that I can just casually peruse the toy sections of big chain stores like Kmart without looking like some sort of loner weirdo that plays with toys.

I totally don’t…

I needed something to do while I waited for an appointment, and I must say, I was more then a bit satisfied that they had a whole display shelf of book/fart monster plushie combination sets, pretty well right at the entrance to the store. Well done Kmart, stay classy Australia, this is what your kids want.

Fart monsters and fart books with fairly long detailed headings.

That italics was not meant to be sarcastic, I am legit proud that this is a gift they are hyping for children, farts are funny man, don’t pretend like they aren’t.

Not like half the other shit they have in the kids section. I don’t know whether because I was a kid, every toy seemed a lot more amazing and better built, or whether the quality of children’s products have just gotten worse over the years. To be fair it’s probably because I was kid. But some of them are so like, man, I know it’s Kmart and it’s meant to be cheap, but is this cheap even worth it?

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I can imagine the kid who desperately wanted a drone who wakes up with this on Christmas morning. ‘Ohh great, it can only fly up to 21m, that’s about a tenth as high as what an actual drone can fly. And it’s made of foam, so I can’t even put a camera on it. Thanks rent’s you cheap fucks…’ I’d suggest blaming Santa on this one.

But all shitty Kmart toy jokes aside, I’m starting to feel better. I’ve been trying to get out of the house every day, I’m keeping on top of the housework, I’m starting to think about the future again.

It’s been a good 3 months now of self pity, time to snap out of it.

It’s not like I’m trying to force myself out of a rut either, it just feels like it’s not so pointless anymore. I’m starting to feel slightly better, like life still kind of sucks a bit and it’s hard, but put into perspective, that’s still pretty good considering where I am right now. And I don’t just mean in this house either, which is amazing and I’m somehow surviving alone in it without a job. I am completely free to express myself in any way I want, I am my own person.

That’s pretty cool.

I went to the doctors today for a check up. I managed to get a deep pimple on this inside of my ear, which I have been constantly picking at because it’s been annoying as shit. The doctor told me to stop picking at it and it’ll go away. This is the thing with me, I pick at everything, pimples, scabs, it’s a pretty compulsive thing I do. It’s not just physical shit I pick at either. Everything down to conversations is picked apart by me, and I keep remembering and breaking the wound apart instead of just leaving it alone. And much like any scab that you continuously pick at, it leaves scars.

It’s time to stop picking off the scab. It’s time to leave it alone, leave the memories, leave the pain.

Time to move on.

I’m 25, I have my whole life ahead of me.

And I’m still in a pretty ideal situation considering.

I mean, 13 year old self would be going, why the fuck are you even crying over guys when you can eat Nutella with a spoon whenever you want (which is when you can afford it) without anyone else saying you cant.

13 year old me is right, it’s good to be able to do things like eat Nutella with a spoon, apologetically, because there’s no one else here to tell me I can’t. Fuck yeah!

Yes, I still feel sad, sometimes it’s for a moment, sometimes it lasts longer. It’s fine, I need to learn to balance these emotions.

So yes, life is still hard, but at least it’s reached an almost satirical Avenue Q type musical level.

At the end of the day, I may envy others lives, but at the same time, my life in itself is enviable in ways.

I just have to remember that.