Wubba Lubba Dub Dub

I’ve been kind of linking this blog to everyone I meet now, in real life I mean. And I kind of realised it’s one of those things that maybe needs to be read before people decide if they want to be my friend or not, as painfully childish and somewhat stupid as that sounds. But this blog is a pretty big warning label, so fuck it. 

I will never hold myself back when it comes to me and my unit of a brain in this space.

I have stuff to do this week, not only that but I did stuff this week. The last 2 days have been spent out getting my responsible service of alcohol certificate and my food handling certificate.

Now I am qualified enough to be a bottom bitch in the hospitality industry, joy.

I just want part time work for now so I’m happy I have these, it’s not like this will ever be my career. And I got out of the house and socialising, so I guess it was a good thing for me to do for that reason. Then I’ve got mum and dad staying the night to help with a driving lesson on Thursday so I’ve got plenty on.

These are all good things.

So why do I feel so sad?

For anybody who’s watched Rick and Morty, you nerds would’ve gotten the reference in the title. But for those who don’t watch the show, it’s a catchphrase that Rick says throughout season 1. The meaning of the term though is explained by Birdman;

birdman
‘Wubba Lubba Dub Dub means; I am in great pain, please help me.’

But the thing is, no one can help me. Because I don’t even know what this is or quite how I’m feeling. This is an attempt at trying to explain something I don’t even know. It’s like every time I get sad or anxious about something it feels different. Like there’s somewhat different levels of severity.

This is just a general sadness, over the fact that I feel so fucking alien in groups or with people now.

I mean, the group I was with was small and just all different. So weird, first day there was 6 of us and today it was down to 4 and well, it was interesting for me. Most of us all had opinions on stuff, so a lot of the time it was constant debate when we were on breaks or lunch, or in the case of this afternoon, through a boring coffee making video that lasted 25 minutes. I guess when you’re in a small group it’s kind of easier to debate without it turning hostile if you have conflicting opinions. I mean, the thing I observed though is that we could all still agree on minor points of the opposite argument.

Look, I understand that this is what intelligent adult conversation is, and I just described it like I was a fucking mongoloid trying to explain debating etiquette to 5 year olds, but you don’t understand the people I’ve lived with!

You also don’t understand how highly sensitive and downright close-minded I can be…

Because I can only tell you that it was a healthy debate, after the fact, after I had to ask about it. Because to me, it still sounded so hostile, so attack like, on me especially with certain topics. But it wasn’t, nobody held any malice, no ones opinions changed. Yet my emotions went fucking nuts and all I could do was just shut up and hold it in. The caged monster inside of me was trying its best to escape.

And I’m not even just talking about the ridiculously short fuse connected to the rage, I mean my whole opinion on these people shifted almost every conversation, down to a deep hatred at moments.

This is my theory, this extreme over-sensitivity was controlled a lot by the lamotrogine, and I regret going off it, for a lot of reasons. But I don’t know whether I could go through the process of getting back on it, not just that, I don’t think I can afford it right now. Because it was a medication that I couldn’t get on medicare, so I had to pay the full price for it. I just don’t think I could do it right now. I don’t know whether I could go through the extra vivid nightmares or the super itchy drug rash it caused.

So I guess the key here is to just not react. So I didn’t. But that didn’t stop the absolute overflow of emotions I felt in trying not to react. It’s exhausting and unpleasant. It’s unpleasant to debate face to face, in real life for me. Because it’s like there are these aggressive tones to peoples voices, like a dog tone that a human can’t hear, but a Kim tone, because it feels like I’m the only one hearing the hostility.

Just because I can realise it doesn’t mean it stops me from reacting at the time. Doesn’t stop it from hurting any less. All it leaves me with is a feeling of being so fucking different. Of not quite connecting, of not being able to relate at all. I mean, none of them really liked the same stuff I did, they were just from different worlds to me, like, boring adult worlds where Doctor Who is lame and adult cartoons like South Park (and Rick and Morty!) is too childish.

I felt like a child again being picked on, but it wasn’t that, it was just we don’t like the same things and these people were a lot more judgemental about it. But they weren’t putting ME down for liking it, I just wasn’t comprehending that at the time. Because I guess that everything I love I hold close to me, like it’s a part of who I am. So to hear people ridiculing it, even if it’s just a tv show or whole fucking genre of shows in my case, it feels like a personal attack on me. Which I understand is silly when it’s not like it’s my own creation or property anyway, but that’s the thing with fandoms.

They hurt.

angrytenant

And you might think that this is all positive that I can at least observe and see it, but that is the exact fucking reason why I am sad.

Because I can see it all in my head, but I’m losing touch with being social. I feel like I can’t apply what I know in the real world, because I can see now I really still don’t have any control over my emotion.

Wubba lubba dub dub…

The Psychopath On Bourke Street

I don’t usually like to post on the news, I don’t like to post on tragic new. I don’t like watching it, reading it or hearing it.

But I can’t not post about what happened in the Melbourne CBD yesterday, because Melbourne is my city, I love the CBD, it’s always been my favourite place in the world. I grew up going to the CBD, I worked my first real job in the heart of the CBD on Collins Street, I’ve regularly walked the streets throughout my life including Bourke St and through the Bourke Street Mall.

Nothing like this has happened in my time. I didn’t think anything bad would ever go down in Melbourne.

Yesterday a crazy fucking psycho mowed down people on Bourke Street Mall, killing 3 people on the scene and injuring 20, another person has also died in hospital bringing the death count to 4. Among the first 3 victims one was a 10 year child.

I have family in the city, a lot of people got taken to hospital just because of witnessing it. I’ve seen a video now removed of the carnage on the street, it was disgusting.

This man has a family history of violence and was also wanted for the stabbing of his brother.

This is the thing, I know this happens a lot in America, but it’s really different when it’s a country that doesn’t allow guns. To kill with a gun is no where near the same kind of personal aggression level as stabbing a person. Then when you hear it’s not a terrorist threat, it’s not politically motivated, it’s just because this guy is a fucking psychopath.

There’s no reason for it. That’s scary.

Too kill with something like a car which is just going to maim, and you just plow down people with nowhere to go with no remorse, it’s fucked.

This affected me. I’m still only an hour away from Melbourne, it’s my city, always will be.

I’m so sorry to the families and people that got affected by this. This was a terrible, scary thing that happened that no one should of had to go through.

I hope we can feel safe in the CBD again soon.

New.com Story

 

 

Fuckman & Donkey Dick Court

This is sort of old news now, but it got brought up again today on a random vlog I was watching on Youtube.

And I was tossing up whether to put this on LITE or not, because it’s sort of pop culture related, but it deserves to be here because of its blatant offensiveness.

I am of course talking about the ridiculous court trial that happened on June 20th, 2016. 

I really don’t care what your feelings are on this, it’s funny, stop being so serious. Just the fact that something like this happened is funny.

The trial was for Denver Allen, who was being charged for murder of a fellow inmate. I’m going to link the transcript here because it has to be read to be believed. But it follows along these lines…

The Court: Lis-listen to me.

Allen: – I’ll just hold myself in contempt.

The Court: Listen to me.

Allen: Fuck you.

The Court: Listen to me.

Allen: Go fuck yourself. I’m through here – Are y’all done?

The Court: I-I’m finding- I’m finding you in contempt of court.

Allen: I don’t care.

The Court: I know you don’t. And I sentence you to twenty days for that. And if you say anything else, I’m going to add twenty days to everything you say.

Allen: Fuck you.

The Court: Forty days.

Allen: Fuck you again.

The Court: Sixty.

Allen: Go fuck yourself.

The Court: A year.

Allen: Your mama.

The Court: Ten years.

Allen: Suck my dick.

The Court: You know something, this is going to be an interesting trial.

Interesting trial indeed.

And to make it all even better, this ended up being turned into a Rick and Morty short, with the whole trial voiced by Justin Roiland himself (creator and voices of Rick and Morty). Then some awesome animator, Tiarawhy, spent 2 months putting the animation into colour.

Man, I would’ve loved to be the person in the courtroom typing all that shit down…

So yeah, enjoy the Rick and Morty interpretation of this court case, it’s funny because it works as an episode.

Ahhhhh people….

Yes

 

Real Talk – I Made A New Blog!

It looks like I haven’t written a blog in a while, but technically this is my third.

I decided to make another blog, I did it because I want to try and take my blogging somewhere, but I don’t I can do it with this blog.

The new blog is going to concentrate on pop-culture related topics, it may contain my personal opinions but it won’t contain my life on it like this one. I’m also going to try and be a bit more classy with the language.

Real talk though, I Like Things is a weird thing for me. I made it raw and real at the time because that’s what I needed, to some degree I still do at times, hence why these posts have been really personal lately. This page exists for me to speak my mind, to give no fucks about what I say and how I feel, I need that too. This page is therapeutic for me in so many ways. But at the same time, I’m not always the same, I feel differently and those are the times I cringe at everything I’ve ever written on this page. I start thinking about how people must envision me and I start regretting ever making this page. And I don’t want to do that, because I love this page, and for some stupid reason a whole bunch of people seem to like this page too. So that’s why this new blog needs to exist, so I can write in both styles.

So if you enjoyed these types of posts from me; My Friend Till The EndNew Found LoveLeave Pewdiepie Alone! (please look at me, I have Pewds in the title!)In My Darkest Hours… or any of the Best of Youtube series, then they will all be over at the new blog, most of these will probably be re-posted over there, as well as the new content on there (as I said, I’ve written 2 blogs, this is my 3rd).

Real talk again, I’ve been putting off this writing this post because I tried to make a pact to myself that I would try and blog everyday on the new blog, so I thought I’d write this when I was ready to commit to that (I made the blog on New Years Eve, I was wanting to write this post that day). I now realise that I can’t promise a fucking thing to myself, because promising something is a guarantee I’ll flake the fuck out on it. So whatever, I’ll blog when I want, but I’ll try and keep it regular. Because I need something, I have to commit to something in my life. 

So yeah, introducing I Like Things LITE, all the subjects I’m passionate about, without the angstyness of the actual page.

Seriously though, I need you guys to support the page, it’s encouragement for me to control my feelings and write objectively, I need it as much as I need this page.

I will still be writing on here though, but this page will always be the page where I speak my mind apologetically, it just won’t be as regular.

Lol, who am I kidding, it will probably be about the same regularity as now.